Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   All I'm say'n, Is in the past thirty years, the baby to dingo ratio has gotten severely out of hand.

   Are you crying because you are fat or because you're hungry again?

   Authorities Threaten to Boycott Kaepernick While Rapist Brock Turner Gets Extra Police Security??

   If you LIKE a comment that attacks me on my FB you are also getting deleted and blocked. Guilty by by association.

   It's horrifying to think that Brock Turner was tried, convicted, and served his sentence in before a Taylor Swift relationship ended.

   I prefer the unfiltered version of a person.

   You can make jokes about anything, just not mexicans. That's crossing the border.

   Chicago is already doing a lot to Make America Great Again

   A heart felt "Thank You" for the birthday wishes Due to sanitary reasons, I will not and cannot accept any money that comes out of bras

   If every day is a gift, I want a refund for the crappy ones.

   Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.

   I just started a GoFundMe page to buy Michelle Obamas freedom

   Its a shame when BLM cant read their own signs

   Theoretically if China went to the moon and knocked over our flag what would we do about it

   It is a big burden being the only one who can prevent forrest fires.

   A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

   When I die I want my ashes scattered over a Starbucks WiFi router.

   In the future, everyone will have 15 minutes of blame.

   Mother Teresa has been canonized. She's no longer Catholic fan fiction.

   I bet Target never opens stores next to a bow and arrow shop.