Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hundreds of thousands of people will protest tomorrow in 1,100 cities in all 50 states. Can't wait to watch from the comfort and safety of our awesome country 🥳

   Oh come on now. That pillowcase one was hilarious. You miserable, chinless cucks need to cheer up! 🤣

   All 4 times in history, that The Dow dropped more than 2,000 points, and the 8 times that Dow dropped most on single days, was under him. This is better than sports lol

   Got pulled over by the cops last night & he asked me if I had a police record. I said, "Yes...'Every Breath You Take' & 'Don't Stand So Close to Me'

   Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture

   The tariffs don’t really affect me, as I spend most of my days at the park throwing wood chips at people

   Welcome to your 60’s, you can no longer outrun Mall Security.

   I’m looking for someone to brush their teeth with me every morning. My dentist says brushing alone won’t prevent cavities.

   Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks

   For $100 I’ll come over and pretend I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, when you have unwanted company at your house.

   The coffee shop had a sign that said: “No WiFi, pretend it’s 1973!” So, I paid 10 cents for my coffee and lit a cigarette.

   The reality is that F○x News has rarely included a live stocks ticker.

   i like my men like I like my coffee. not that hot but still making me anxious

   Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one.

   The reality is that F○x News has completely removed their live stocks ticker because the market is completely disintegrating and they're embarrassed, you uneducated dingbat 😂

   HE USED CHAT GPT TO WORK OUT THE TARIFFS!!!! 🤣 Everyone knows now. How humiliating! LMFAO

   I'm arguing with a cretin who gets his information from Facebook posts

   Suddenly, people who can't pay back their student loans are now experts on tariffs and the stock market.

   It's a tie in the race for the world's biggest whackoffs between the Dum-o-Crat and GaryKoenig

   The "worlds"? Wow. That's a lot of people. I believe there's over, 8 billion people on the planet now? HOW small is your world? I knew it. You live in a basement, and you never go outside. I F*CKING KNEW IT!!!! 😂 Aren't you tired of getting owned?