Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Seeking a naughty Valentine, private message me for details lol...

   They're called "The Wonder Years" because you wonder where they went.

   We all end up as stories to be told long after we are gone. Some boring, some tragic, some exciting.

   The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.

   after this status is written there will be 116 characters left, just sitting there not being used. Be a shame to waste them. Who wants em?

   Rip: Shirley Temple

   If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment

   Valentine's Day...... "My wallet ain't got time for dat!"

   aaand my friends don't think I'm funny anymore.

   Shirley Temple, a wonderful example that making sex tapes, twerking, and going to re-hab are NOT necessary to make it in Hollywood. Classy is ALWAYS in style!!!

   Bruce Springsteen is my favorite Beatle

   I never understand when people say that the Mona Lisa was Leonardo da Vinci's best work. He was pretty damned good in the Titanic if you ask me.

   nothin will boost your confidence more than beating that p**** up

   love aint about first sight anymore..it has evolved into endsight,hindsight nd foresight..so dont be short sight..

   What's more shocking than finding out Shirley Temple has died? Finding out Shirley Temple was still alive.

   My ex girlfriend's facebook movie is already in the buy one get one free bin at the adult movie store.

   To be fair, your friends never thought you were funny. Maybe They just figured out where you got your material. How bout you contribute some one liners for the rest of us.

   We have matching problems. Must be fate.

   I dont listen, I just watch people talk.

   No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.