Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Jesus saves. He shoots. He scores!! (watching Mexican soccer.)

   Her: Why do you love me? Him: because you have sex with me. Her: You could have sex with other girls, too. Him: I can?? Sweet!! Her: That’s not what I meant. Him: OK…then, I love you.

   Dear Miley, there were at least 4 things missing from your VMA performance - Talent, Dignity, Grace and Self Respect.

   Cats know. I don’t know what it is they know, but they know it and they’ve known it for a while. They know.

   Things I wish I could unsee: 1. Miley Cyrus twerking 2. Miley Cyrus riding that foam finger 3. Miley Cyrus

   How many of these cats do I have to glue together before I have a tiger?

   There is a price to pay for my happiness..its called alcohol.

   Breaking News: Miley Cyrus to star in prn movie called "Hannah Does Montana"

   I wonder what Billy Ray Cyrus thinks about his achy breakie slut. . .

   I accidently switched my TV to the Aljezeera station and now there's a helicopter over my house...

   While outside jogging nothing will help you burn even more calories than getting hit by the runs... I think I just broke bolts track record!

   maybe Disney should start having there girls sign contracts before making them famous. Like, "I Promise I will not be America's next pop wh*re if I get this part..."

   After seeing Miley Cyrus' raunchy VMA performance last night, I don't feel so bad about perving on her leaked p0rn0.

   i will never buy a foam finger again !

   If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

   Disney has turned into America's Next Top Slut competition. Call in Britney to host with Christina and Lindsay for judges.

   Did Miley Cyrus have a stroke or was she doing that with her tongue on purpose

   I want to be a Disney princess, but not Snow White because I don't want dwarfs touching me while I sleep.

   Why did the rooster cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off?

   If she uses her panties as ankle warmers does that make her eco-friendly or just a $lut?