Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Gotta love a good GPS. No matter how many wrong turns you make, that little pocket sized symbol of hope just sits there, smiles at you and says "No worries buddy, I'll still get you there"

   ‎"Its Good Mood Food" <------ The whole marketing department at Arbys should be fired!

   why is it that whenever I make a peanut butter sandwich, the whole house starts smelling like peanut butter?

   I'm done looking for love, When it's ready...it can come find me.

   The higher you put your hopes, the more it hurts when they fall.

   Amy Winehouse started writing songs for a new album this weekend - she only got through a few lines.

   I always try to watch what I eat...that way I don't bite my finger.

   Lazy Rule Nos 7, 8 & 9: Errr, oh Just use Rule No.1 !!!

   Stories that have been ripped from the headlines are the best. Except the ones ripped by bears. They're really hard to read.

   You can't judge a book by its cover. I read that on a book cover. It's like a life lesson if you really think about it.

   They tried to send Amy Winehouse to the coroner but she said no, no, no. Just kidding, she's dead and didn't say anything.

   How does the man in the moon cut his hair?.........Eclipse it!

   Amy Winehouse joins the Forever 27 Club. When does Lady Gaga turn 27?

   Do not assume that one without religion is lacking faith.

   To the person who said "God didnt put tattoos" on Amy Winehouse, God didnt make haircolor either, but Ms Clairol isnt going to hell. Ignorant moron.

   finds all the RIP's for a drug addicted Amy Winehouse and none for the 92 innocent people killed in Norway yesterday rather ironic.....

   Sheesh, The Heat hasn't been this bad since the NBA finals.

   just read where Monica Lewinsky turned 37 yesterday, how time flies, seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the Whitehouse on her knees........

   Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

   27 Club: Jimi Hendrix [✓] Janis Joplin [✓] Jim Morrison [✓] Kurt Cobain [✓] Amy Winehouse [✓] Lady Gaga [ ] Justin Bieber [ ]