Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Can you believe that people are actually paying Atheists $150 to take care of their pets after the Rapture???!!! I'm just mad because I paid more than that for them to harvest my crops on Farmville.... :(

   I thought I was about to get raptured, but it turns out it was just gas.

   I feel sorry for the people that actually have Earthquakes today..

   FYI - I just opened washing machine and found clothes, but no one was wearing them. Rapture, anyone???

   The awkward moment where you predict the end of the world, and nothing happens.

   i wonder if this people who predicted the rapture are praying for an earthquake so they wont look stupid or praying for the end of the world to happen.

   I told her dont be mad but I'm leaving just as fast as I came!

   6:00 ???? They didnt even have clocks in the bible

   "If you can dream it, you can do it." Walt Disney

   upset that history channels mounted in alaska has absolutely nothing to do with bristol palin

   Ah facebook, bringing the drama of the outside world straight to your home computer.

   wondering which of the following are most likely to happen? 1: The Rapture. 2: Pigs flying in perfect formation. 3: Politicians being completely honest.

   my moneys on the Mucho Macho Man in the Preakness cause the real Macho Man Randy Savage will be snappin in to a slim jim from above~ OOH YEAH!!

   Why are all the apocalypse on eastern standard time?

   May 21, 2011 6:00pm?? Wait...where in the Bible does it mention clocks?

   I firmly believe that horse races are the rich man's NASCAR

   You must be this -^- tall to ride the Rapture!

   installing SKYNET.... ████████████░░░░░░░░░ 49% DONE. Errors found....decompressing...... Installation failed. Please try again in 2012. *doh*

   it is 6:01 and I am still here... or am I??? Rapture Schmapture!

   has been sitting outside with a cooler all day and has not seen one Veloc-raptor....