Funny Status Messages

   If you get on an airplane nowadays, you're out of your mind.

   GaryKoenig, please, for the love of God STOP, you lame asshole.

   I took pregnancy while autistic so now I'm Tylenol.

   John, I have two bad news, which one do you want to hear first?" "Combine them!" "Your wife cheats us!"

   GaryKoenig is back in full force.

   Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?

   Who's the faigg with no life?

   I'd believe the asshole if he claimed his address was 6969 Bendover Ave.

   Judo is what you use to make bagels. 🥯

   Sometimes you have to sit back and play the role of a fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.

   I’ve been asked why I like dogs more than people. Short answer: My dog has never included me in a group text.

   He won Kentucky by 26 points then immediately disabled their tornado warning systems, leading to 18 deaths. Hahahahaha. As someone who doesn't live there, in that country I mean, I find news like this very, very entertaining and funny 😂

   Missus Beasley gaema hat!

   Losing weight is a great idea except for two things. The eat right and exercise part.

   I was told this is where you order Door Dash.....SMH.....

   What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you? Bi-yourself.

   Foot fetish screw them feet!!!

   I bought a second scale to weigh my first scale so I can show it how it feels.

   BREAKING NEWS: So according to my calendar, today is National Alien Abduction Day. In other words, the government has been lying to us. There are aliens! Lol

   Someone called me a f*t f**k. I wanna know if that's an adjective or a verb.