Funny Status Messages

   Imagine playing dead & you hear “shoot everybody again”

   I’m white, but not ‘get married in a barn’ white.

   (To the theam song of Barney & Friends)...... I like beer..... You like beer..... Everone here liiiikes beer..... So lets all go to the bar...... And have a few ew ew beers.

   Name something you would say to a friend in 2020 who would think you were completely crazy if you said it to them in 2019 Copy and paste to see what your friend's say.

   The news just reported that Loving County Texas is Coronavirus free! I mean there's only 102 people that live in that country, but still that's something to celebrate!

   I know I won't be out socializing for the Super Bowl. But not because I'm afraid of catching the Coronavirus, I just don't like sports.

   If I’m reading their lips correctly, it looks like my neighbours are having an argument about the creepy guy next door.

   I really want to meet a redneck, hillbilly who own stocks.

   Log off Facebook and go to church if you want to pray. Facebook was exclusively invented for spying and stalking

   When I was 10, I was given 6 mo. to live and I refused. My mom got mad at me. Damn autocorrect. When I was 10, I was given 6 oz. of liver and I refused. My mom got mad at me.

   When you think about your dreams and goals, instead of asking yourself what's stopping you, figure out what's starting you.

   there a Monday's for dummies ?? I really need it

   Do you know what happens to little boys who continually interrupt? They grow up and make a fortune doing TV commercials.

   You can fight a lot of enemies and survive, but if you fight your biology, you always lose.

   The Cavaliers owner was overheard muttering to himself, "If I can't have LeBron, no one can."

   I can't believe it, just when I moved to a nice neighbourhood away from all the theft and gun crime, they've gone and invented the houses that were too close.

   meteor showering with Axe shower gel.

   going crazy. Wanna join?

   if you cant solve life's problems try Ctrl + Alt + Del

   Fighting cavaties. :)