Bridget Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon “Tired of online dating? You're not alone.” Yes you are. That's why you're dating online.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:00 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 01:39 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lawnmower is like a man. You either have to push it or ride it if you expect to get any work out of it.
←Rate | 06-12-2011 19:10 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:46 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I seduce it, really get it going, then leave it alone for ten minutes,maybe this paper will finish itself.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:42 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Americans treat the Constitution the same way they treat the Bible: Despite never having read or understood it, they are quite certain they know both.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:47 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know when you are getting old when, you finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:40 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it squirms it's Biology; if it stinks it's Chemistry; if it doesn't work it's Physics and if you can't understand it, it's Mathematics.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:46 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wish I could change my relationship status to "batteries dead" LOL
←Rate | 05-25-2011 18:54 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Boobs are a lot like toy trains...they are meant for kids but dads like playing with them too
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:47 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon pulling out of a disabled parking zone, a police officer calls out "what's your disability?" As I drive off I call back " torettes, piss off asshole"
←Rate | 06-12-2011 19:04 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 01:31 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every flaw in my character is quietly salvaged as evidence of my genius.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:02 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:05 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Facebook should add another option for Friends Requests... WHO ARE YOU?
←Rate | 05-25-2011 18:55 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:44 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. Bill
←Rate | 02-04-2011 08:45 by bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to defrag my brain. Process takes 8 to 9 hours. Will be unavailable till reboot is complete..
←Rate | 06-12-2011 18:40 by Bridget Comments (0)  

   messageicon Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 19:23 by Bridget Comments (1)  

   messageicon It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 01:33 by Bridget Comments (0)  


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