MC Fazzerino Funny Status Messages
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Making home made Pop Tarts. I almost have it down, but getting the filling down to a thickness of 1/1,000,000 of an inch is becoming quite a challenge.
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Okay so, last Sunday we all lost an hour. This Sunday, we should all watch NASCAR and lose four.
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Not sure which has gone more viral on facebook. Pics of cats, or cups of cappuccino with hearts drawn in the foam.
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And if he winds up being a switch hitter..he'll be known as: North Bi North West....well sorta.
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I had a nightmare. I was having s-e-x with Paula Dean d0ggie style. I was pulling her hair and she was screaming, "AH CAINT BLEEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"
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So I'm flying to England and the flight attendant asks me if I want dinner. I asked her what my choices were. She said, "Yes or no."
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I just had a bad dream. I went to the Facebook log in screen and it asked if I wanted to sign in using my Myspace account.
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Music, Children, and Dogs: The world's three greatest anti-depressants.
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I hold the NASCAR world record for the number of races never watched. Zero.
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Breaking News! You can "QUIETLY" be an Atheist and leave people who believe in something more substantial, believable, reasonable, realistic and is NOT a mere product of mental invention......Learn to stay in your lane dummies.
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Women: The prettiest flowers in God's garden.
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The heavier the girl, the more pics of really buff guys go up on her timeline.
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Spooning...the precursor to forking.
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All these facebook game requests and not one from a hot chick for N@ked Twister.
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"How To Win Friends And Influence People On Facebook" Post pictures of dogs and cats.
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Damn hard of hearing pharmacist. I had trouble sleeping so I asked for Nytol. He gave me Mydol. So here I am, wide awake, but I have to admit the cramps and bloating are gone.
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Science can't figure out whether an egg is good or bad for you, let alone accurately prove how the universe formed or evolution.
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Someone tried to steal my identity. However, after reviewing my bank accounts and credit information, they felt sorry for me and offered me theirs.
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Great music lives on in perpetuity to those who seek it.
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Christmas will be here sooner than you think. Forget the gifts and commercialization, make it a time to be Merry. Unless you live in San Francisco....then make it a time to be Mary.
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