@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages
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"Archaeologists Discover First-Ever Gay Caveman." I'm calling it now: "Glee-anderthal: The Musical." That one's free, Hollywood.
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can't believe Mark Zuckerberg has a stalker. It's not like he puts all of his information out there or anything.
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Really listened to "Freebird" last night. The guy is a bird you can't change. He's an unchangeable bird. And there's a guitar solo. Classic.
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has been considering a lobotomy... it seems like a no-brainer.
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I call the toilet at work Mrs. Star Trek... because I just Shatner.
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don't pee on me and tell me it's raining... pee on me and tell me you love me.
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I know this sounds crazy but I totally see Jesus's face in this painting of Jesus.
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wondering... does anyone really believe that Barack Obama doesn't understand exactly what the Muslim Brotherhood is?
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If you see only one hilarious movie about wacky bridesmaids this week... make it “Thor.”
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remembers the last thing a wise man said to me was "Help! I'm drowning!" I never knew what he meant by that tho... he was so wise.
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I wonder if we're "homed people" to them...
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If you guys don't start telling me when my status updates don't make sense... I'm gonna start matriculating bananas to the chimney of the coral reef.
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If Coldplay and Mumford & Sons got in a fight... Miley Cyrus would win.
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I need to move some money around. By that, I mean...I'm going to take the change from my console and convert it to bills, so I'll have money in my pocket!
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