bob Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Checked with my Sperm Bank to see my deposit was getting any interest..sadly they said Zero.
←Rate | 04-05-2018 16:51 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon The goal keeper in soccer is allowed to pick up the why doesn't he just pick it up and just run across the field to the other goal?
←Rate | 09-12-2017 09:48 by bob Comments (1)  

   messageicon if you shave off your arm hair and it grows back to the exact same length, does that mean its twice as long as it was?
←Rate | 06-23-2017 07:24 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing worse than being stuck behind someone driving less than the speed limit is being the passenger of someone driving less than the speed limit.
←Rate | 06-20-2017 05:25 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
←Rate | 03-08-2017 09:49 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can think of one group of workers who are doing much better under this Trump presidency....comedians
←Rate | 02-16-2017 21:32 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume
←Rate | 01-24-2017 08:09 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're looking for a good Trump pee joke, Urine Luck
←Rate | 01-12-2017 06:30 by bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sitting in a busy parkink lot tooting my horn when I see someone pressing their remote looking for their car.
←Rate | 12-21-2016 20:46 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know how the law of averages works, but you'd think after 25yrs of marriage I'd be right at least once??........bOb
←Rate | 04-08-2016 10:10 by bOb Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish these kids would stop crying. I won the Eater egg hunt fair and square.
←Rate | 03-27-2016 19:53 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Substitute " My ass" for "This girls" on fire and you're welcome Preparation H for your new ad campaign.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 05:58 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't know who's happier, the gay community or the ABA
←Rate | 06-28-2015 07:45 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since casino commercials abruptly end with "gambling problem, call 1-800gambler"......why don't booze commercials end with "drinking problem, call 1-800guzzler" ?
←Rate | 05-19-2015 06:06 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Made a deposit at the Sperm Bank....sadly, it's earning no interest.
←Rate | 04-05-2015 09:04 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're a woman that plans on visiting Halas Hall later this year, I suggest you use the stairs
←Rate | 03-27-2015 05:36 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon great news for those that talk $hit....PREPARATION H is now available as a chapstick!!
←Rate | 03-21-2015 09:15 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lindsey Vonn starts at the top and ends up on the, apparently, does Tiger
←Rate | 02-02-2015 04:55 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me....simple advice to Islamic extremist, but it's hard to reason will those that believe there's a bevy of virgins waiting for them upon death
←Rate | 01-18-2015 08:40 by Bob Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some dude is going to be eaten alive by an Anaconda tonite....BIG DEAL...I was eaten alive by a snake years ago and my lawyer got me out. Sucked dry, but free.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 16:49 by Bob Comments (0)  


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