Luka Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Totally not bigoted, sounds like something a rational and kind person does*
←Rate | 06-21-2021 02:03 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
←Rate | 03-14-2021 13:12 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend told me she wanted me to choke her during sex, I asked her; whats wrong with during dinner?
←Rate | 03-06-2021 09:28 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have been called annoying, not once, not twice, not three times not four times not five times not six times not seven times not eight times not nine times not ten times not eleven times not twelve times not thirteen times not even 14 times._.
←Rate | 01-01-2020 02:11 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friend just accused me of cheating in poker, I think he is just mad I won with 6 king
←Rate | 09-25-2019 22:16 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon they say you should never tell a joke about blind people, oh yeah? watch me
←Rate | 01-03-2019 21:33 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon My therapist told me to write letter to the people I hate and then burn them. OK. I did that, now what do I do with all these letters?
←Rate | 10-24-2018 18:35 by Luka Comments (1)  

   messageicon So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:37 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:35 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:34 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon my girlfriend thinks I am in capable of being faithful my wife on the other hand.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:27 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon my girlfriend thinks I am afraid of commitment my wife on the other hand...
←Rate | 08-30-2018 01:04 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon no one could ever hate me half as much as I dont care
←Rate | 08-30-2018 00:44 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friends are a lot like trees they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe
←Rate | 01-05-2018 00:13 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
←Rate | 01-05-2018 00:12 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
←Rate | 04-20-2014 16:37 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come we pay guys millions a year to toss a ball around, then when our teachers ask for a raise, we say they already make enough
←Rate | 04-14-2014 00:24 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:11 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon It’s scary to be a woman on a blind date. For all she knows the man she is meeting up with could be a rapist, a murderer, or, God forbid, a politician
←Rate | 11-18-2013 00:24 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 01:00 by luka Comments (0)  


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