Bill Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm at that age and wisdom where I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. Nope! I've seen that movie.
←Rate | 03-21-2021 06:43 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, to retain moisture, I'll brine whatever I'm smoking or grilling. I've found the best brine is made from the tears of 1000 vegans.
←Rate | 01-27-2016 12:58 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to get dressed up in bear costume and go down to Best Buy on Black Friday and scare the people camping out in tents...
←Rate | 11-18-2013 23:13 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was just reading about the new 100 dollar bill design and wondered why I hadn't seen one yet. Then I realized it's because it's a 100 dollar bill.
←Rate | 11-04-2013 01:01 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house hammered, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister...
←Rate | 11-04-2013 01:00 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personally, I don't find swearing offensive. I think it adds character & emphasis to a conversation. I do find, backstabbing, lying, cheating and screwing people over offensive, but not swearing.
←Rate | 10-10-2013 14:00 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: "Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:09 by bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Tupac should win a Hologrammy for his Coachella performance......
←Rate | 04-16-2012 10:57 by bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids, watch out for Obama supporters! They'll take half your Easter eggs and give it to the kids who were too lazy to hunt for their own.........
←Rate | 04-06-2012 09:22 by bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got my Do-si-dos. Sad thing is I'm about to eat the whole box, I'll be mad at myself later...........
←Rate | 02-23-2012 20:22 by bill Comments (0)  



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