@demiroquai Funny Status Messages
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Being Hugh Hefner's ex is as prestigious as being tall enough to get on a carnival ride.
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I bet even Tony Romo's throw pillows end up on the wrong couch.
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Confused the Facebook status box with Google search, and I don't have to go to any more family functions.
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If you use the term YOLO, then you are more than likely using these other popular phrases: “Would you like fries with that?” “Welcome to Walmart.” “Yes Officer. You may search my car under the terms of my probation.”
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If men are from Mars, that would explain why we try to probe everything.
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McDonald's is like unprotected sex for your heart... So awesome.
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You can't tell me Occupy Wall Street and the McRib's return are a coincidence.
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Seriously! How do they train the animals look so sad in those ASPCA commercials? They are convincing.
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Looks like Steve Jobs is on his iCloud.
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The space bar means everything... Its the difference bewteen "She gave me herpies" & "She gave me her pies." One's more delicious
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