@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages
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Page: 9 of 11
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just gave a woman my number in Roman numerals... if she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
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thinks sometimes it's fun to ask someone how they are but then before they can respond say, "Anyway" and change the subject.
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atheists only exist cause they haven't tasted this grilled cheese I just made.
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take me drunk, I'm home!
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wondering... does anyone really believe that Barack Obama doesn't understand exactly what the Muslim Brotherhood is?
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I need to move some money around. By that, I mean...I'm going to take the change from my console and convert it to bills, so I'll have money in my pocket!
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can't believe Mark Zuckerberg has a stalker. It's not like he puts all of his information out there or anything.
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it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
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Sadly, "kangaroo on a trampoline" returned zero Youtube results.
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met a girl last nite that charged by the inch... I didn't have enough money but I figured she'd be a good deal for you.
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Psychotherapy is like the boardgame Clue: "I know who did it. It was my mother, with the passive-aggression, in the 80's."
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thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard and I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it... I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log.
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hates the KKK as much as anyone... but it is kinda neat that they introduced "hoodies" to American fashion.
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the next time someone says "I don't know whether to laugh or cry"... kick 'em in the shins really hard so they'll know for sure.
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My dad probably can't beat up your dad anymore.
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thinks that it's no coincidence that there are no z's in insomnia.
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You know that button in the elevator with the fireman's hat on it... turns out that is not the button you push if you want a fireman's hat.
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wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.
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remembers the last thing a wise man said to me was "Help! I'm drowning!" I never knew what he meant by that tho... he was so wise.
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needs to have a fixed income... mine is broken.
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