Zinc Funny Status Messages

   Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

   If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates - Jay Leno

   Michael Phelps probaby just threw away any of his medals that weren't gold.

   You act like I was drinking alone...but I had the entire Verizon network with me

   With fewer toothpaste choices on the market now, maybe those 5 dentists can finally agree.

   My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

   can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr old boy living in Namibia. He has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day he rides 7 miles to school with a bike w/ bent wheels and no brakes. If you just send $2, we will send you the video it's freaking hilarious.

   thinks Google Maps needs an "Avoid Ghetto" option.

   Say no to drugs. Although, if you're talking to drugs, it may be too late.

   just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started off badly but by the end I really liked it.

   Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words.

   Ok honey don't freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes.

   Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks me what I'm doing. 4square asks me where I am. Conclusion: the Internet is my girlfriend.

   GOP budget to slash disease research? Now we'll NEVER find a cure for Bieber Fever!

   I was in a bar the other night, moving from stool to stool trying to get lucky... but there wasn't gum under any of them."

   Some DJ keeps calling my phone and leaving me mixed messages.

   If I died and went to Hell, it would take me at least a week to figure out I wasn't at work anymore.

   They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But they also say revenge is sweet. I think they are trying to say revenge is ice cream.

   Did I already post my Alzheimer update?

   People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing all the time.