Will Funny Status Messages

   Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?

   I'll call the people I see at work "coworkers" as soon as they start doing some work.

   My mom always said kill them with kindness, but for you I'm getting my gun!

   Thinks that if someone says plz because it's shorter than please, you should say no because it's shorter than yes.

   S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life

   Do you want people to accept you as you are? Or do you want them to like you?

   Frosted animal crackers, proof that this generation is too fat!

   Don't you just love nature? Dispite what it did to your face.

   I went fishing for bottom feeders yesterday, and caught a R0unders!

   I personally know that being stupid is its own reward

   In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage. They make it into television shows.

   In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.

   I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.

   You are the kind of a person that we could use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

   Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.

   I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

   Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

   Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

   Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

   Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.