Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today I tried the whole Yahoo vs Google thing. I typed "Why is there." Yahoo gave me "Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball" and Google gave me "Why is there a drunk Chinese man doing push ups on my front lawn." Google wins yet again
←Rate | 05-23-2010 12:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if cows refer to their sons as cowboys.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 12:28 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Stop crying. You asked what I thought of your haircut and "macho" is a compliment where I come from, lady...
←Rate | 05-22-2010 14:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I have a combination of Alzheimer's and ADD. I can't remember what I wasn't focusing on
←Rate | 05-22-2010 13:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's time to take back our country!" Fine. Just return it to your nearest Indian casino.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents inThis Economy is soo bad... Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My philosophy? People who have creepy dungeons probably don't wear a watch. So, when a stranger asks for the time, I pepper spay them.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:47 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon The Deadliest Catch would be so much cooler if they'd plant a serial killer on each boat.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where did Macaulay Culkin get the cardboard people for the party in Home Alone? Don't tell me you haven't also wondered this from time to time.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss The Oregon Trail. Life seemed so simple when your biggest worry was killing enough buffalo before you died of dysentery.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my upstairs neighbors are shouting about who can stomp the loudest.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, I admit it. I want to see the Dalai Lama arm wrestle the Pope...
←Rate | 05-20-2010 16:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid bloody garbage trucks waking me up at noon.
←Rate | 05-20-2010 16:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm petitioning Crayola to replace the "burnt orange" crayon with "burnt snooki"
←Rate | 05-20-2010 16:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
←Rate | 05-20-2010 13:15 by Joser Comments (0)  




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