Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Maytag just recalled 1.7 million dishwashers. This immigration issue is really getting out of hand.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if you preface it with "I think strippers smell nice", saying "You smell like a stripper" has a way of being misconstrued.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You Canadians spell humor as "humour." American humor is better. We can do it without u.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:16 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you kill two birds with one stone, ..you'd better be prepared for those damn PETA people to show up at your door.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon HECK is where you go if you don't believe in GOSH
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIFE; It's one damned thing after another
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind going to work. It's that 8 hour wait to go home that sucks!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon To save time, lets just assume I'm NEVER wrong!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your not barefoot, you're overdressed...
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon there are two types of people in this world, pizza roll people and bagel bites people
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is doing maintenance on my account. I hope that means they're airbrushing my profile pics!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon today I : 1. asked old people for directions and deliberately walked the opposite way... 2. asked very obese people which gym they used...
←Rate | 06-02-2010 16:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a walk, my stepdaughter saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use really strong sunblock. It's SPF 100. I squeeze the tube and a sweater comes out.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come so many people Roll On The Floor *Laughing*? If I'm rolling on the floor, it's usually because I'm on fire. Send help.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If age is just a number, can I get mine unlisted?
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:05 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Match.com says it's responsible for more dates leading to marriages that any other online site. And yet, it has no warning label.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:04 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fine print on Krazy Glue reads, "The only two things this product will successfully attach are your fingers and this tube."
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:03 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only spell it "errbody" if literally each person in the club is gettin tipsy.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:02 by Joser Comments (0)  




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