Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Biggest trade to date: Lakers to trade Jack Nicholson
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday has been calling me and just breathing heavily into the phone until I hang up...
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A trip to Wal-Mart is all the proof I need that ugly isn't an effective means of birth control
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'm just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all out of tea and sympathy. How about some coffee and you f*cking deserved it?
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a chip on my shoulder(Cool Ranch Dorito)
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 186th rule of Fight Club is there is no such thing as a male BFF...!
←Rate | 06-05-2010 01:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I threw all my problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, I'd grab mines back...
←Rate | 06-04-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Amsterdam, everyone rides a bicycle and no one cares how excited you are to buy marijuana.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent survey showed 65% of Americans can't name a single Supreme Court justice and that's sad because HELLO Judge Judy.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is proof that you can party as a profession.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 17:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waldo's bangin' Carmen Sandiego right now. Somehow, despite all the odds, they found each other.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people who shop at Walmart, "Save Money. Live Better." Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
←Rate | 06-03-2010 18:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid games taught us a valuable lesson. Like "slapping a hippo on the @ss will make him eat". That's important sh*t!
←Rate | 06-03-2010 18:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life would be easier if Kleenex just made shirt sleeves.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If idle hands are the Devil's Playground than Facebook is a full blown amusement park.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just tending to my rock garden, seeing if I can get a statue to grow.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My super power is finding out about really cool sh*t after it happens.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:18 by Joser Comments (0)  




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