@Jimboleem Funny Status Messages

   I get fewer Valentines than Christmas cards. ....I got one Christmas card

   127 Hours would have been better if immediately after he cut off his arm the rock shifted and landed on his foot.

   127 Hours would have been better if immediately after he cut off his arm the rock shifted and landed on his foot.

   “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain

   I don't need to watch "Desperate Housewives". I have Face book !

   Went to the doctors today, he said ive got John McEnroe syndrome... I said..YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS !!!

   If I look like I'm being bashful chances are I'm just trying to cover my nose, because when you talk I can smell your teeth dying.

   They're making everything bigger these days. This bus is at least twice as big as the one I rode as a kid.

   What does it mean when a girl calls you 2 or 3 times every single day? I mean aside from the fact that she works for MasterCard™.

   Just read that California leads the nation in depression cases and adultery. ....What a sad state of affairs.