K-Mac Funny Status Messages

   Has anyone seen my invisible pants?

   When I win the Mega-Millions, I'm going to buy so many dishes, pans and silverware That I never have to wash them again, just use them once and throw them away.

   It was earth hour last night at 8:30. I turned everything off for an hour, couldn't see a damn thing...so I built a tire fire for some light. Still trying to put it out.

   Looking forward to Egg Salad Monday.

   Pretty soon people will be saying, "You were born in the 1900's?"

   I saw a couple of signs that read "END ROAD WORK". Now I'm all for a good protest, but I just can't get aboard with this one.

   I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do.

   Happy Earth Day...don't mind my tire fire......just can't seem to put it out.

   Cinco de Mayo. I don't see what the big deal is. The Mexicans were victorious over the French.........who can't beat the French

   Can't wait for the Super Moon tonight, I wonder what color it's cape is?

   This guy in line at store had breath so bad his teeth turned sideways just to let it out.

   I'm pretty sure my dying wish would be to stop dying.

   If life hands you lemons, hey.... free lemons.

   Time to re-boot, these ones are worn right through the sole.

   Wow, Mitt. First animal abuse and now a school bully.....and you think you're a good example?.......of what?

   You don't need a parachute to skydive......unless you want to do it again.

   The one good thing about Monday morning, It's the farthest from next Monday you're going to be.

   Don't tell anyone, but I just farted...lets keep it our little secret.

   I wish my neighbor's dog would take the hint that my leg just wants to be friends.

   Thanks to Jersey Shore, Crayola has a new color....Whorange.