DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages
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Never hold your farts in. They go up your Spine then into your mind and that's where you're shi*ty idea's come from!"
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Alright! Drunk me from last night made hungover me some epic sandwiches for lunch today. Man, I love that guy!" :)
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Nobody goes to that Bar anymore. It's too crowded... wait, what, nevermind, let's go!"
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Dear people in the apartment beneath me: banging on your ceiling doesn't make me want to finish any sooner. It actually makes me want to leave the vacuum on indefinitely....and I think I'll go take a shower now, too."
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Restaurants, please stop trying to get clever with your restroom signs. I have a very small bladder."
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The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me."
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Nothing pisses me off like a bird WALKING across a street. No it's cool. I'll wait. BTW You can FLY dumbass!
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found out softcore porn isn't like real sex, it doesn't fade out to a candle, waterfall or something lame like that."
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"I Hate or Can't Stand Drama" is translation for "I'm gonna be the first one to cause all the Drama Tonight, just thought I would give you the heads up!"
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EPIC FAIL: Ripping the easy-open tab right off the last can of chef boyardee ravioli and not having a can opener to back it up."
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never shout out "Fruit Cake" at a gay wedding. You never know who your gonna offend."
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Women ask for advice on what to wear and then end up wearing the exact opposite.. that's why I think Snow Pants and Leather Jackets are sexy as hell on them."
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it says on my sidebar on facebook.. "Many of people who like Lindsey Lohan also liked Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" Oh no, that can't be good.
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Heigh ho! Heigh ho! It's Off to the Bar I go.."
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I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."
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Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us? It's way funnier when people say "Excuse You" anyways.
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dislikes people who make fun of Brett Favre just because of his age. Basically all you're saying is "He's older then me, and still play's the game better then I ever will."
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alot of people when they go to concerts they yell out "Wooo! or Yeah!" I like to yell out more specific things like "The way you play you're Music makes feel Good Inside!!"
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why don't they just make a James Bond Television Series? Because if you think about it, there's already enough movies to make one season."
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I will take a chance, I will Dance until the Day I Die, I will never look back.. Did I really need Katy Perry to tell me all that? No, But after watchin' her music video. I will dream like a teenager tonight."
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