miz Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer? Max Factor should make condoms.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 07:44 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink...I already have one
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:33 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon How bored were moths before the light bulb was invented?
←Rate | 06-02-2011 11:38 by miz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brand new scientifically proven weight loss lipstick... Superglue
←Rate | 06-02-2011 17:19 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders who says "open wide" the most, Dentists or Gynaecologists...
←Rate | 05-24-2011 12:51 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think the pile of bodies outside my door is a Halloween decoration, it isn't. I've plugged the doorbell into the mains.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 17:03 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon you can always tell if there's a police car in our area... Everyone in our street flushes their toilets at the same time!
←Rate | 06-15-2011 12:01 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does Stevie Wonder love seeded hamburger rolls? Because of the jokes written on top.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 12:07 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a pacman suit and chase Muslim women in burkas around the town centre.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 17:01 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My middle finger gets a stiffy when I think of you
←Rate | 05-31-2011 17:50 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Injunction - the new fragrance for women by Imogen Thomas. Indiscretion - the new fragrance for men by Ryan Giggs.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:24 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a monkey thats always exploding? A ba-boom.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 13:14 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just finished writing an epic new film series about dyslexic vampires. It's called the Twiglet Saga.
←Rate | 06-02-2011 13:34 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon and they have been telling me for years, salad was good for me, well f'ck that i'm sticking to chips.
←Rate | 06-02-2011 17:14 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can't talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
←Rate | 06-12-2011 21:40 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be nice to your parents, because your dad could have shot you into a tissue or your mum could have swallowed you.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 12:10 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arguing on facebook is like the special olympics, even if you win your still retarded
←Rate | 06-24-2011 07:28 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last year for Halloween me and my mate were meant to go trick or treating as a pair of breasts. He didn't turn up and I went by myself. I looked like a right tit.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 17:05 by miz Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a chav in a suit? His name you prejudice bastards.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 17:41 by miz | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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