bryan j brown Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
←Rate | 10-07-2011 13:07 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know in the future its gonna be pretty common too say, "So grandma how many tattoos do you have?"
←Rate | 03-28-2011 20:25 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can learn a lot about a woman from the top dresser drawer beside her bed....
←Rate | 11-07-2011 12:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention All Mom: if you have a son from the ages of (6 to 12).. Just randomly ask him..."If 30 ninjas broke in here right now what would you do??" Trust me it will make his day...
←Rate | 03-24-2012 13:40 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I read that Uber is going to start using self-driving cars to drive people around... Which is a great idea.. But I'm just thinking, if a car drives up to my house to take me somewhere with nobody in it.. I'm pretty sure I just got myself a new car...
←Rate | 12-17-2016 15:59 by Bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that believes people without kids should get a "No-Child Tax Credit"... I mean I'm over here not overpopulating the world.. Think I deserve a lil something back for that... Yall Welcome!
←Rate | 02-11-2013 17:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the metal slides that would give you 3rd degree burns on a hot summers day...Goodtimes!!
←Rate | 09-06-2011 14:57 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop...
←Rate | 05-06-2014 21:19 by bryan j brown Comments (1)  


   messageicon You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
←Rate | 05-03-2011 20:06 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure why my bill collector keep trippin and askin for their money...I mean as long as I owe yall money you will alwayz have a job...Hell you should be callin to thank me cuz I'm your job security....
←Rate | 12-02-2010 09:48 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Titanic would have been as romantic if Jack would have said, "Hey Rose how bout we let me get on the headboard for just a couple of minutes"....
←Rate | 05-14-2012 12:34 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies just cuz he locks his phone when he leaves the room doesn't mean hes cheatin...Now if he locks his phone...then takes the battery out...then moves the bookshelf which leads to an vault that he puts his phone in...Then ok maybe hes cheating
←Rate | 06-10-2011 16:45 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men lie about how many women they have been with because they CAN'T remember the exact number...Women lie about how many men they have been with because they CAN remember the exact number....
←Rate | 10-15-2011 12:54 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its unfair that men and women are not treated equally...It just seems wrong that women can show a lil boobie and get out of a speeding ticket but when I show a lil ball I get arrested...It just aint right
←Rate | 09-10-2011 15:19 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day Werewolves didn't fall in love with babies...THEY ATE THEM!!
←Rate | 11-18-2011 20:42 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel??
←Rate | 10-25-2011 16:50 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo Italian Cruise Ship... I'mma let you finish but Titanic had the best sinking of all time!!!
←Rate | 01-18-2012 16:22 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon these kids today are lucky they have the soft plastic jungle-gyms with straw padding the ground..Instead of those broken down wooden death traps we had too play on as kids with that soft cement to break your fall...
←Rate | 09-06-2011 14:54 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold up.. Spanking your kid can get you arrested??? If thats the case my mom should be on Death Row.. . ‪
←Rate | 09-13-2014 19:51 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing turns a close knit family into a bunch of cage fighters like the question of "Who wants to lick the spoon of cake batter?"... 
←Rate | 12-21-2013 20:33 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  



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