MG Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon doesn't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
←Rate | 03-06-2010 17:11 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
←Rate | 02-06-2010 06:37 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a fight with the wife and didn't see her for three days... Then the swelling went down and I could see her out of one eye
←Rate | 03-17-2010 07:28 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon The good thing about Facebook is you can make someone disappear from your FB world by simply deleting and blocking the annoying offender. To accomplish the same thing in the real world, you have to find a remote location and take the time to dig a shallow
←Rate | 02-11-2013 17:02 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?” To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”
←Rate | 03-06-2010 06:16 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else
←Rate | 04-06-2010 09:17 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 13:18 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Dear Mother Nature: If you stop the cold and the snow and the wind I promise to stop calling you a whore."
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:04 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would like to know exactly what makes the topless protesters mad enough to protest topless so we can do more of it.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 13:05 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
←Rate | 04-13-2010 10:48 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 11:56 by MG Comments (1)  

   messageicon I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
←Rate | 05-28-2013 10:56 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon The difference between a sin and shame; It is a sin to put it in; It is a shame to pull it out!
←Rate | 02-26-2010 06:02 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 10:38 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, I couldn't find any!
←Rate | 02-25-2010 09:19 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon National Atheist's Day April 1st
←Rate | 04-01-2010 08:11 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon clearly, it is wrong to describe woman's menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 12:36 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon believes the difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:07 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jeremiah quickly learned that as long as he had wine, some mighty fine wine, he would always have a friend.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 21:46 by MG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since I just finished my 4th glass of this wonderful spirit, all status updates, texts, private messages, and voice mails from me are now considered null and void.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 22:21 by MG Comments (0)  

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