Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   A liar takes forever to explain a simple answer...

   I hope there comes a day when cancer is just a zodiac sign

   My sex life is like a Ferrari.. I don't have a Ferrari

   Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

   The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer.

   My life is like a romantic comedy expect there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

   I wish a girl with fake eyebrows would argue with me, I would lick my Thumb so Fast!

   I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you are good with grammar you will get it.

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb

   You're 15 years old. You smoke. You're not a virgin and you wear more make-up than you do clothes. You have a bright future ahead of you.

   1992: Girls got undressed for their husbands. 1995: Girls got undressed for money. 2012: Girls get undressed for likes on Facebook and Instagram

   Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you.

   One man's hoe is probably another man's hoe too.

   No one is being forced to read my posts, unfriend me or I'll block you at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. I'm helpful like that

   Why be fake when being real takes no effort at all?

   Nothing more awkward then being 10 minutes into a porno and realizing there's no girls in it...

   If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye

   Masturbation is great. It wakes you up, puts you to sleep, relieves stress, and the only person who judges if you're good at it is yourself

   Kate is officially a milf