Destiny Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon worried that my drinking might be affecting my memory. I'm also worried it might be affecting my memory.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:41 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dilemma: do I the wash dishes, or attempt to eat cornflakes from a cup with a knife?
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:36 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas" The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found" Well played, ninjas, well played
←Rate | 04-03-2011 02:49 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎90 people have swine flu(H1N1), and everyone wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom
←Rate | 04-02-2011 22:39 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon man says to wife "what would you do if I won the lottery"wife replies "take half and leave your ass"husband replies "good,i won 12 dollars here is 6 now get the hell out
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:30 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to jump on the 'I hate Mondays' bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
←Rate | 04-02-2011 22:36 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just finished running 5 miles. Just fu@king with you. I'm eating a bacon and sour cream pizza.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:31 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to wake me up to ask to borrow something, the answer is hell no.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 19:51 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going clubbing. ok, it's just to Sam's Club, but I'm trying to make it more glam.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 20:02 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ohhh! who lives in the kitchen, chained to the sink? Sponge mom sweatpants!
←Rate | 04-02-2011 20:00 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon doing laundry. nothing says "I love you" like clean underwear.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 19:59 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:52 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost the bar trivia last night by one point. The last question was "where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer is , Fiji......
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:41 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing more say's you are a facebook stalker. Then updating your status with a girls name. When you meant to put it in the search box.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:26 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon dude your eyes are red are you stoned? no it's my allergies. what are you allergic to? Weed.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 04:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you wanna be old and wise, you gotta be young and stupid..
←Rate | 04-01-2011 22:25 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone asks a dumb question it's really hard to not reply with a sarcastic answer
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:55 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd mind my own business if yours wasn't so damn interesting
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon The "b" in the word "subtle" sure is dumb.
←Rate | 04-02-2011 19:57 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:46 by Destiny Comments (0)  



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