DYLAN BOSCH Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Men are terrified of women. Don't believe me? Go use one of those decorative towels in the bathroom. I dare ya."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:21 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You really have to hand it to the blind prostitute..."
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:34 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 18:57 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", I'd like to hear someone in the family say, "This isn't quite what I had in mind."
←Rate | 08-10-2011 10:13 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention."
←Rate | 08-21-2011 16:18 by Dylan Bosch | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."
←Rate | 09-06-2010 12:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not that I'm complaining, but I think the sales lady at the furniture store misunderstood when I told her I wanted one nightstand."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:34 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon had lucky charms for breakfest. I take this day very seriously."
←Rate | 03-16-2011 19:01 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have ADHD. It's like ADD except the picture quality is phenomenal."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 14:22 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh didnt I tell you? Must have been none of your f*cking business."
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing's more satisfying than when "the one that got away" turns into "whew, dodged that bullet."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:02 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon so the technology exists allowing us to watch TV and movies in 3-D or HD, but when it comes to security camera footage it still looks like it's being shot with the camera from Blair Witch Project."
←Rate | 03-15-2011 17:40 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my ex moved out while I was at work, she took my new flat screen tv, but she couldn't find the remote. I will occasionally drive to her house around 2 am and turn the TV on and the volume all the way up. I'll give it 2 years and call us even."
←Rate | 08-29-2011 20:13 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?"
←Rate | 06-07-2011 11:35 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard that the world is going to end in 2012, because that's only as far as the Mayan calendar goes. But the news gets even worse: I checked MY calendar, and it only goes to the end of this year!"
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:41 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, I'm not "done sleeping." In fact, I will never be done sleeping, I'm merely taking a break in order to earn money so that I may keep my bed in its current, climate-controlled location.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:29 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever you don't feel special or the world is draggin you down. just remember this.. there's always beer."
←Rate | 07-01-2010 14:10 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you drank too much last night when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator."
←Rate | 05-12-2011 12:07 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"
←Rate | 03-28-2010 02:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some 12 year old called my house at 2:45 this morning to ask if I ordered Indian food. I said, "Are you serious? I ordered that 8 hours ago!" He stuttered, apologized, and hung up! Prank Call Reversal!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  



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