@williamhale1 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest dammit! KNEES TO CHEST!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:15 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's not considered a "mood" if you're always in it. At that point, it's just YOU being a D-BAG!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 16:01 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would totally vote for Herman Cain but only if he introduces himself at the next debate by singing... ♪♪ Here I am!! Rock you like a Herman Cain!! ♪♪
←Rate | 09-16-2011 15:39 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you really have "haters" or are people just telling the truth and you're actually just an a$$hole? Check into that for us. .
←Rate | 08-02-2011 15:59 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry, but I don't take relationship advice from single people. That's like taking advice on how to jump hurdles from a dude with no legs.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 17:28 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scotland Yard is at a loss at how to stop rioters from coordinating looting via Blackberry. If only they knew someone who could hack phones.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:35 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I had too much to drink last night because I left the door open the whole time I was peeing. That might not sound bad, but when you're driving 65 mph, it can cause all kinds of problems.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 12:17 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't wait to see whatever movie they're filming in London right now. Looks bad ass.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 01:36 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's now being reported that two earthquakes hit the New Jersey area. In other words, Snooki fell twice.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 20:44 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To my son's future girlfriends: If you ever want him to, you know, go down there, then just shave it into a dinosaur shape. That's how we got him to eat chicken.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 14:24 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm about to head to the bar and pretend to be blind so women will let me touch their faces.... good times...
←Rate | 08-26-2011 15:35 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you know if you hit someone really hard with a hammer, they IMMEDIATELY start planking?
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:14 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The TRUE pregnancy test is whether he'll stick around if it's positive.
←Rate | 07-21-2011 18:56 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would totally vote for Herman Cain but only if he introduces himself at the next debate by singing, "Here I am!! Rock you like a Herman Cain!! "
←Rate | 10-19-2011 19:18 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Sarah Palin could see Russia from on top of Glen Rice.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:31 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon No matter how tough, hardcore, or badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you WILL answer it.
←Rate | 07-21-2011 18:58 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You can't have your cake and eat it too." - People who obviously don't understand what you're supposed to do with cake
←Rate | 07-21-2011 18:57 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Casey Anthony tried to celebrate her acquittal last night at Chili's but waiters kept walking by singing, "I want my babyback babyback babyback... I want my babyback babyback babyback..."
←Rate | 07-06-2011 11:54 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ♫ “The best part of waking up…. is not dying in your sleep!” ♫
←Rate | 06-29-2011 14:19 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not So Good Pick-up Line #7: Girl, your dad must be a lobster… because all your meat is in the tail!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 12:17 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


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