John Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon cellphones always killin the mood. chick texted "your ducking sexy".. sigh. so I responded "your spelling makes me think your on quack"
←Rate | 07-11-2010 21:20 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life
←Rate | 11-16-2009 13:30 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sticks and stones may break my bones but words ... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading to a lowered self-esteem and decreased work-related efficiency
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:07 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her
←Rate | 11-19-2009 20:06 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
←Rate | 11-29-2010 09:49 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon I stand in an elite group, Procrastinators! The leaders of tomorrow...
←Rate | 11-14-2010 08:59 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your eyes are red,the beer is green don't party too hard,your not Charlie Sheen!
←Rate | 03-17-2011 18:28 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed.
←Rate | 12-04-2011 22:52 by John Comments (1)  

   messageicon Its almost that time kids...Does everyone have their plungers ready?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 18:17 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon .Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:30 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon enjoyed deleting 10 friends to get a free Whopper.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 14:05 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 16:46 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:49 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had sex last night from 1:55 to 3:02...I thought I was a machine until I realized the time had just changed.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 14:25 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
←Rate | 11-05-2010 15:38 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who would have thought the Detroit Lions would have played the best football in the state of Michigan this weekend?
←Rate | 01-02-2011 20:40 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon fighting the financial crisis
←Rate | 02-23-2009 09:21 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon A sure sign that drugs fu<k you up is that Russel Brand just filed for divorce from Katy Perry...WHAT,an idiot!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:48 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your thinking of watching...Scott Pilgrim vs. the World...Just shoot yourself in the face now and save yourself some misery.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 11:52 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon The weather in New York is partly cloudy and warm...just like A-Rods urine sample
←Rate | 06-03-2010 18:50 by john Comments (0)  


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