Friday Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.
←Rate | 11-27-2017 04:50 Comments (3)  

   messageicon I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.
←Rate | 11-23-2019 07:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.
←Rate | 11-25-2017 05:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up on brain-dead zombies. Oh wait. Sorry, wrong channel. This is "The View".
←Rate | 01-13-2018 11:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on Hang on..... Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".
←Rate | 01-30-2020 06:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??
←Rate | 12-03-2012 06:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls
←Rate | 11-22-2012 19:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just did my own taxes . I should be in jail by Friday.
←Rate | 02-03-2021 08:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-14-2017 11:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."
←Rate | 10-13-2017 06:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 13:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 08:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 08:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spring makes every day feel like you're stuck in the office on a Friday afternoon.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 22:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?
←Rate | 04-23-2011 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?
←Rate | 03-08-2013 13:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)
←Rate | 06-15-2013 05:13 by Arda Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 19:03 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…
←Rate | 08-03-2013 20:28 by Steve OH Comments (0)  

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