status stalker Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There's a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:18 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1 in 5 people are Chinese. I wonder if my mom and dad know which one of my brothers it is?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:17 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally swallowed a bunch of lego pieces. I'm just wondering if I'm gonna sh*t a brick tomorrow..
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:17 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon When going through airport customs and you are asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "why, what do you need?"
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:16 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got back from a mile long walk in your shoes and I still think you're a douche bag
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:14 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should shake this guy's hand, but I don't want to put down my beer, and honestly, I've known the beer at least 5 minutes longer.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:14 by status stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do ducks play "me, me, goose"?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:31 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been poor and happy and now I'm ready to be rich and miserable. Gimme!
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:30 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never been to jail, but I did get stuck in a pair of skinny jeans at an American Eagle once.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:30 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon $3.88 until my Visa is maxed out. I'm struggling between the #4 at Burger King or shampoo.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 21:29 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  



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