m Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Who knew in 1987 when Steven Tyler wrote "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" that it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
←Rate | 08-03-2021 16:33 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."
←Rate | 04-18-2021 15:22 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anybody actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?
←Rate | 02-10-2021 12:37 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of this "which bathroom to use" debate is ridiculous....why can't we all potty like it's 1999?
←Rate | 04-27-2016 18:10 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the morning hits your eye like a big smelly cow pie.... That's A-Mon-dayyyyyy......
←Rate | 08-10-2015 09:29 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to find a good air guitar these days.
←Rate | 06-18-2015 07:29 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about a cell phone is you can be reached wherever you are....the bad think about a cell phone is you can be reached wherever you are.
←Rate | 04-27-2015 19:39 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really like the people who say; "60 is the new 40" because I know if I borrow $60 from them, all I have to pay back is $40.
←Rate | 04-27-2015 14:13 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don't even have to hide a body.
←Rate | 04-03-2015 20:23 by M Comments (0)  


   messageicon I couldn't quite visualize what a nanosecond was until I dropped a piece of bacon and my dog had it gone before it could even leave a grease spot on the floor.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 11:57 by M Comments (0)  



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