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joser Funny Status Messages
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Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake sh it.
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10-07-2014 01:40 by
joser
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Wondering if in the future, robots will have a dance called the human.
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07-25-2010 12:15 by
Joser
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I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis.
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07-22-2010 22:15 by
Joser
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100 calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off.
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07-16-2010 18:01 by
Joser
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Giving this positive outlook thing the old college try. Which means I'll only try on Tuesdays and Thursdays after noon.
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07-16-2010 18:01 by
Joser
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Its been a business doing pleasure with you...
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07-16-2010 18:01 by
Joser
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I enjoy watching uptight people try to act laid back.
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07-16-2010 17:56 by
Joser
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Traffic lights are society's way of mocking the colorblind.
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07-16-2010 17:55 by
Joser
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Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.
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07-16-2010 17:55 by
Joser
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I'm beginning to think the only real committed women are the ones who are institutionalized.
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07-15-2010 19:20 by
Joser
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I wish there was a "I liked your Facebook status until every one of your moron friends had to comment on it
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07-15-2010 19:19 by
Joser
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I think people would be less likely to piss me off if they knew how much I watch Forensic Files
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07-15-2010 19:18 by
Joser
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Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight
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07-15-2010 19:18 by
Joser
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Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
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07-15-2010 17:55 by
Joser
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Apparently the forklifts at home depot are "not meant for racing and for employee use only."They should really get a sign..
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07-15-2010 17:54 by
Joser
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I plan on using a treasure map as my will
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07-15-2010 17:54 by
Joser
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Birds of a feather flock together...then sh*t on your car...
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07-15-2010 17:44 by
Joser
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The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
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07-15-2010 17:39 by
Joser
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Little known fact: "Ikea" is actually Swedish for the sound one makes when sh*tty furniture falls apart.
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07-15-2010 17:25 by
Joser
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Google is really an undercover gambling addiction hence clicking "I'm Feeling Lucky" compulsively.
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9
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07-14-2010 21:39 by
Joser
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