joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake sh it.
←Rate | 10-07-2014 01:40 by joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering if in the future, robots will have a dance called the human.
←Rate | 07-25-2010 12:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon 100 calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Giving this positive outlook thing the old college try. Which means I'll only try on Tuesdays and Thursdays after noon.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its been a business doing pleasure with you...
←Rate | 07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy watching uptight people try to act laid back.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Traffic lights are society's way of mocking the colorblind.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm beginning to think the only real committed women are the ones who are institutionalized.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish there was a "I liked your Facebook status until every one of your moron friends had to comment on it
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think people would be less likely to piss me off if they knew how much I watch Forensic Files
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently the forklifts at home depot are "not meant for racing and for employee use only."They should really get a sign..
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plan on using a treasure map as my will
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Birds of a feather flock together...then sh*t on your car...
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Little known fact: "Ikea" is actually Swedish for the sound one makes when sh*tty furniture falls apart.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Google is really an undercover gambling addiction hence clicking "I'm Feeling Lucky" compulsively.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


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