equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I ain't voting for Monica Lewinskys ex-boyfriends wife.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 22:56 by equaloppjoker Comments (1)  


   messageicon Everytime I see someone wearing camo, I run right into them. The I apologize profusely, claiming that I "didn't see them"
←Rate | 10-17-2014 04:11 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pet rock didn't wake up this this morning....gonna have to bury it.
←Rate | 08-23-2014 04:27 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
←Rate | 08-02-2014 08:20 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you play Seattle, you play the whole state!
←Rate | 02-02-2014 22:22 by Equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET.
←Rate | 12-30-2013 06:53 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is great, but.....HAVE YOU EVER HAD STUFFED CRUST PIZZA?!?!
←Rate | 12-20-2013 13:29 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got home and found all the doors and windows open everything gone! What kind of person does that to someones Advent calender?
←Rate | 12-14-2013 03:56 by Equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over....yep she needs a walker!
←Rate | 11-18-2013 17:50 by Equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating and it takes any size piston. It changes it's own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so temperamental.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 03:05 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon When wearing a baseball cap a BRO may position the brim at either 12 or 6 oclock. All other positions are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 02:59 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
←Rate | 11-17-2013 10:33 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont care one Iota about leaving a better planet for our kids. I think we should be focused on leaving better kids for our planet.....
←Rate | 09-23-2013 17:04 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon she said she was not comfortable watching me masturbate. So I told her to take a different bus.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 09:09 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna come over and watch porn on my 72 inch flat screen mirror?
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:15 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suffer from amnesia and dejavu...I think I have forgotten this before...
←Rate | 08-22-2013 09:16 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon. I think I'm going to be pretty good at it!
←Rate | 08-21-2013 17:51 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing against black folk. One of my best friends thinks he is black.
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:45 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which one of you ladies wants to be my next mistake?
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:39 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm worried because a coworker has incriminating nude photos of me. She says she will use them against me if I don't stop sending them to her.
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:34 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


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