eengrms Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Trump should really try harder to get his message out to the younger generations, especially since one of them will eventually be his fourth wife...
←Rate | 10-21-2016 11:58 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon So North Korea only has 28 websites. Well we just have Facebook. Wait you mean there are more?
←Rate | 09-21-2016 16:54 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The stupidest, ugliest Presidential campaign in my entire life: House of Cards meets Sharknado...
←Rate | 05-10-2016 15:20 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon So does this mean Jay-Z has 100 problems now?
←Rate | 05-03-2016 14:34 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon This election is just dragging on too long. It's like the world's longest Nicolas Cage movie...
←Rate | 05-03-2016 14:28 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll probably come off as mean when you first meet me, but after you really get to know me you'll find out that I'm actually meaner...
←Rate | 05-01-2016 22:05 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon People setting up GoFundMe's because they can't afford a TV... Don't you know that's what lay-a-way is for?
←Rate | 04-26-2016 21:49 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It's "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
←Rate | 04-24-2016 15:18 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon The American dream I’m chasing is where the entire pizza is just a spiral of stuffed crust...
←Rate | 04-23-2016 22:37 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in... Kanye West is still alive. Meanwhile we continue to lose really talented artists...
←Rate | 04-21-2016 21:34 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Apple/FBI conflict proves anything, it's that the NSA really doesn't have all of your personal information like people claim...
←Rate | 03-18-2016 23:30 by eengrms Comments (2)  


   messageicon Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:51 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:51 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found buried under snow in the mountains containing the last moments of people's lives...
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:42 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you...
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:41 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people seem to like Trump. Others like Hillary, or Bernie. Just be happy you live somewhere that you have a choice, just don't waste it...
←Rate | 03-10-2016 09:19 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon Selfie sticks are this generation's fanny packs...
←Rate | 03-06-2016 20:13 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm afraid if Trump wins he'll leave us for a younger, prettier country...
←Rate | 03-01-2016 22:24 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can't help but believe my days around here are numbered...
←Rate | 02-17-2016 23:18 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
←Rate | 02-15-2016 12:13 by eengrms Comments (0)  


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