bryan j brown Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon So I read that Uber is going to start using self-driving cars to drive people around... Which is a great idea.. But I'm just thinking, if a car drives up to my house to take me somewhere with nobody in it.. I'm pretty sure I just got myself a new car...
←Rate | 12-17-2016 15:59 by Bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hold up.. Spanking your kid can get you arrested??? If thats the case my mom should be on Death Row.. . ‪
←Rate | 09-13-2014 19:51 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop...
←Rate | 05-06-2014 21:19 by bryan j brown Comments (1)  

   messageicon i am the kind of guy that likes to turn a woman on with a sexy dance.. Dances like "The Cabbage Patch" and "The Roger Rabbit", trust me it gets them wet... Normally wet from tears because they are laughing so hard but wet is wet...
←Rate | 01-25-2014 17:27 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing turns a close knit family into a bunch of cage fighters like the question of "Who wants to lick the spoon of cake batter?"... 
←Rate | 12-21-2013 20:33 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon If milk goes to $8 a gallon its gonna be hard for you ladies to trust anymore.. Cuz you always gonna wonder if he really likes you for you or cuz he loves him some Lucky Charms...
←Rate | 12-09-2013 19:00 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do chicks say that they can count the number of dudes they been with on one hand?? B*tch you ain't got 20 fingers on one hand..
←Rate | 09-27-2013 19:39 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only one that believes people without kids should get a "No-Child Tax Credit"... I mean I'm over here not overpopulating the world.. Think I deserve a lil something back for that... Yall Welcome!
←Rate | 02-11-2013 17:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Studies have shown that people who masturbate have longer lives then the people who dont... Guess that means my a$$ is living forever...
←Rate | 01-31-2013 18:34 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bryan Brown ‎"Can I see your phone??" SURE.. Just don't look in my contacts.... or my texts... or my pics.. or my videos... or my.. you know what just give me my damn phone back.. #Mr.Brown
←Rate | 08-22-2012 20:00 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


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