Pineapple Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:32 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a banana peel in the road today and instinctively swerved to miss it, thanks Mario Kart!
←Rate | 06-11-2010 01:25 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe there are so many privacy risks involved in broadcasting my entire life on Facebook
←Rate | 05-11-2010 09:44 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon if your lookin for Sympathy it is in the dictionary between S*it and Syphilis...
←Rate | 05-07-2010 04:38 by Pineapple Comments (1)  


   messageicon Let's put the regulation of our financial markets in the hands of people who haven't just finished masturbating.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 23:25 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon making like a baby and heading out.
←Rate | 04-20-2010 01:20 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer is good for what ales you.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 02:52 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon has decided that instead of flipping off these idiot drivers I'm just going to blow them a kiss instead.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 00:56 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's not me or my actions that bug you, it's that you let them bug you.
←Rate | 03-19-2010 01:03 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon really looking forward to this years Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach. Talk about non-stop racing action!
←Rate | 03-04-2010 09:46 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon AHHHH! A student driver! AHHHHH! In a Toyota! We're all gonna die!!!
←Rate | 02-24-2010 01:55 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Breaking news*...Tiger woods has crashed his Cadillac into another tree at the dogleg right on his way to the news conference. In a show of bravery during Black History Month, O.J. has picked him up in a White Ford Bronco.
←Rate | 02-19-2010 09:58 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey! It's called facebook, a social networking site, NOT faithbook, a cram your religious beliefs down my throat site. Hiding!
←Rate | 02-16-2010 14:28 by Pineapple Comments (5)  


   messageicon In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like them so much 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement and 82% just like the peace and quiet.
←Rate | 02-02-2010 21:36 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you hear that there's a "no fly" zone over San Diego on Sunday...... a huge lightning storm is coming....... grounding all "Jets"......GO BOLTS!!!
←Rate | 01-17-2010 14:14 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon passed a homeless guy on the way to the Coinstar machine today. "Sorry, I have no change"...man was that awkward.....
←Rate | 12-07-2009 19:21 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon Procrastination is like masturbation...if feels good while you're doing it but in the end you only f*cked yourself
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:17 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes Jimmy Football was more like Billy Mays-DEAD!
←Rate | 11-15-2009 21:07 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius
←Rate | 11-12-2009 01:28 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...The top ten reasons to procrastinate. 1.
←Rate | 11-08-2009 20:40 by Pineapple Comments (0)  


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