Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I'm going to have.
←Rate | 09-12-2016 10:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts
←Rate | 08-26-2016 19:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having 50 girlfriends isn't swag. Having 1 girlfriend and 49 chasing you is...
←Rate | 08-24-2016 17:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screenshot me, I dare you. I'll climb through your window and smash your phone so quick.
←Rate | 12-08-2015 20:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a girl likes you, everything you tweet has the potential to piss her off.
←Rate | 12-08-2015 19:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't respond to your 1st text, it's not an invitation to text me again... With your basic ass
←Rate | 12-08-2015 19:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone I don't like texts me, I send their text back. I don't want that sh*t.
←Rate | 12-08-2015 19:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a guy don't text you back, he's probably reading the bible or volunteering at an animal shelter. Men don't cheat, idk who lied to y'all.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe I'm old school, but I like women with eyebrows actually made out of hair.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 14:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday... that better not be your ugly ass I see peeking around the corner!
←Rate | 10-11-2015 21:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Date a girl who watches football with you and lets you grab her ass during commercials.
←Rate | 10-11-2015 11:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's cuddle, eat junk food and watch football.
←Rate | 10-11-2015 11:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you piss your girl off, she'll tell you Goodnight at 2pm.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta grab your girls booty in public to let other guys know you bout that life.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't sleep, call your ex and harass them. They don't deserve to sleep either.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody talks on the phone anymore. If I like you, I'd rather hear your voice. Texting has made sh*t less intimate.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys will never win an argument with their girl. You think you won and 3 hours later she comes back for round 2.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're dating someone, you really shouldn't give a sh*t what anyone who's not in your relationship thinks about it.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn’t have said.
←Rate | 10-09-2015 13:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


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