Luka Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My friend just accused me of cheating in poker, I think he is just mad I won with 6 king
←Rate | 09-25-2019 22:16 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon they say you should never tell a joke about blind people, oh yeah? watch me
←Rate | 01-03-2019 21:33 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon My therapist told me to write letter to the people I hate and then burn them. OK. I did that, now what do I do with all these letters?
←Rate | 10-24-2018 18:35 by Luka Comments (1)  

   messageicon So what if I can’t spell Armaggedon? … it’s not the end of the world.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:37 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:35 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:34 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon my girlfriend thinks I am in capable of being faithful my wife on the other hand.
←Rate | 10-21-2018 12:27 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon my girlfriend thinks I am afraid of commitment my wife on the other hand...
←Rate | 08-30-2018 01:04 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon no one could ever hate me half as much as I dont care
←Rate | 08-30-2018 00:44 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Friends are a lot like trees they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe
←Rate | 01-05-2018 00:13 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
←Rate | 01-05-2018 00:12 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
←Rate | 04-20-2014 16:37 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come we pay guys millions a year to toss a ball around, then when our teachers ask for a raise, we say they already make enough
←Rate | 04-14-2014 00:24 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:11 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon It’s scary to be a woman on a blind date. For all she knows the man she is meeting up with could be a rapist, a murderer, or, God forbid, a politician
←Rate | 11-18-2013 00:24 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
←Rate | 10-28-2013 01:00 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 23:29 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 00:03 by luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he's making noises with his gum
←Rate | 10-21-2013 00:12 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I don't clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 21:52 by Luka Comments (0)  


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