LauraP Funny Status Messages

   suing Trojan...It didn't blow my hair back!!!

   Going to start living like a dog...If I cant eat it or play with it....I will piss on it and walk away

   A mind without laughter is a dangerous place to pitch a tent...

   When you enter a relationship, it's as if you sign a contract that says, “I give you 70% of my feelings. I acknowledge that you can play with them, make them feel good, and I also acknowledge that you can freaking destroy them.”

   children are God's way of punishing us for having sex.

   Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry...

   A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.

   To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

   The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

   Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep!