John Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon We Want Top Gear Back Now
←Rate | 03-11-2015 04:08 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its almost that time kids...Does everyone have their plungers ready?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 18:17 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It's a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
←Rate | 07-06-2013 12:22 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon the best way to end up divorced...get married.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:16 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering what you would do for a klondike bar?
←Rate | 02-22-2012 21:54 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:49 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon A sure sign that drugs fu<k you up is that Russel Brand just filed for divorce from Katy Perry...WHAT,an idiot!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:48 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon .Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:30 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you put your kid's GPA in your Christmas card's the grandparents might be proud of them but everyone else is gonna think YOU'RE a di<k!
←Rate | 12-22-2011 14:40 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed.
←Rate | 12-04-2011 22:52 by John Comments (1)  

   messageicon Your delusional,she wouldn't do you if your semen cured cancer!!!
←Rate | 11-09-2011 14:04 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 16:46 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon 4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!
←Rate | 04-20-2011 15:05 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
←Rate | 04-09-2011 21:31 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Todays suggestion...Someone just KILL terry jones,so more people dont die because of HIS stupidity. Like the GOVT hasent done it in the past,US citizen or not. Hell I'll do it,just give me the go ahead.
←Rate | 04-04-2011 14:34 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your eyes are red,the beer is green don't party too hard,your not Charlie Sheen!
←Rate | 03-17-2011 18:28 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had sex last night from 1:55 to 3:02...I thought I was a machine until I realized the time had just changed.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 14:25 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon In my opinion,nobody needs a girlfriend or boyfriend untill they get married...
←Rate | 02-05-2011 14:02 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who would have thought the Detroit Lions would have played the best football in the state of Michigan this weekend?
←Rate | 01-02-2011 20:40 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
←Rate | 11-29-2010 09:49 by John Comments (0)  


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