Jeff Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon the S or the C silent in the word scent?
←Rate | 04-09-2016 23:43 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon I must have drank more than I thought last night...there's an entire hour that I don't remember!
←Rate | 03-13-2016 10:16 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon In a final selfless gesture, Abe Vigoda will be donating his ear hair to Locks Of Love.
←Rate | 01-26-2016 18:45 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Asians haven't been this embarrassed since William Hung was singing "She Bangs, She Bangs"
←Rate | 07-05-2015 19:58 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon RESEARCH: Tin foil hat club. Too much time on hands club. Lives in parents basement club.
←Rate | 04-22-2014 21:57 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot
←Rate | 01-25-2014 22:23 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon The political frustrations of this week remind me how happy I am to have allegiance to greater kingdom.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:21 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon 99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 7%.
←Rate | 05-04-2012 11:03 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friend Mary joined me for dinner. I had a petite filet and Mary had a little lamb!
←Rate | 03-10-2012 00:24 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon if I took a drink every time Musburger said "Honey Badger", I would have passed out in the 3rd quarter.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 08:13 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyday I'm shoveling!
←Rate | 01-03-2012 19:53 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Im thinking of opening a specialty store that caters to people with A.D.D. I will call it "The Shiny Squirrel". Or I might just throw rocks at this tree.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 16:42 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somewhere in Florida, a strip club just gained an employee.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 17:19 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon ran 2.7 miles today. apparently the ice cream truck doesnt have rear view mirrors.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 14:58 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon the pill...... the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
←Rate | 06-23-2011 12:22 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon excuse me ma'am, how many ping pong balls can you fit in your mouth?
←Rate | 06-06-2011 21:28 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon In this kind of weather I expected to see more boobs hanging out.
←Rate | 06-06-2011 20:56 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon there has to be a woman out there thinking to herself right now..." man I wish someone would pick me up like a bowling ball"
←Rate | 06-06-2011 19:17 by jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid people who wore there hat crooked, pants half off, and shoes untied rode the short bus!
←Rate | 02-01-2011 10:05 by Jeff Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jerry springer say's, "The difference between his guests and politicians are the number of their teeth."
←Rate | 11-01-2010 16:35 by jeff Comments (0)  


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