JAB Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A buddy of mine told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart... He said, Her brother has a mustache. . .
←Rate | 11-22-2017 10:05 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon New walking dead movie coming out, featuring Keith Richards. . .
←Rate | 10-06-2017 19:30 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon And in the news today. Keith Richards is not dead yet. . .
←Rate | 10-05-2017 15:27 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon O.J wants to move to Florida. Florida doesn't want him. He can move in with me, think of all the publicity I'll get. . .
←Rate | 10-01-2017 18:14 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon My x-Girlfriend's cell phone got more attention than I did. I asked her, how long does it have to vibrate before you get off !
←Rate | 09-27-2017 07:52 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon College wall posts, Welcome back students. Sex is not allowed in the dorm rooms. The students are like, " Yeah Right "
←Rate | 09-01-2017 16:55 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adrenalin highs are my favorite, it helps me conserve my weed. . .
←Rate | 08-16-2017 16:27 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am all for the death penalty, but I think we should make it interesting and fun. Make it a game and play musical electric chairs. When the music goes off one chair gets a nice charge. . .
←Rate | 06-18-2017 01:13 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon For now on, should United airlines lose a passengers baggage. That passenger has a right to kick a$$ on one of their employees. . .
←Rate | 04-13-2017 17:58 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to moving to Russia if Hillary won the election. . .
←Rate | 03-03-2017 23:47 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know is not for some people smoking Marijuana the murder rate would be a lot higher than it is.. So get high and keep the murder rate low. . .
←Rate | 02-25-2017 08:48 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the transgender BS going on. I am worried about claiming to be a man. I'm confused. . .
←Rate | 02-24-2017 16:20 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna was offering blowjobs to men for their vote for Hillary. I took the blow job and still voted for Trump. . .
←Rate | 02-24-2017 08:49 by JAB Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ever have one of those nights you were almost involved in a threesome, but one hand fell asleep. . .
←Rate | 02-22-2017 20:35 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's more important. The prick of the roses or the prick giving them. . .
←Rate | 02-14-2017 19:10 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're single, happy go f#ck yourself today. . .
←Rate | 02-14-2017 10:00 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Single's Discrimination Day. You'll be takiing matters in your own hands. Don't forget to clean up. . .. . .
←Rate | 02-14-2017 08:04 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just save $329.99 from not buying 30 vials of Restasis for dry eyes by having someone come by my house three times a day and poke me in the eyes...
←Rate | 02-08-2017 21:07 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Desert is different from Dessert. You can have as many desserts as you want, but you can only stand in one desert at a time, the english laungauge will get you every time. . .
←Rate | 02-08-2017 21:01 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think about it, to come clean is not an option. . .
←Rate | 02-03-2017 13:34 by JAB Comments (0)  


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