EF Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Look on the bright side Redskin fans...Anything is possible and maybe the Rams will trade three 1st round picks back for RGIII. ;)
←Rate | 11-16-2014 23:38 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is a special place in Hell for people that pass memes off as their own
←Rate | 07-25-2014 11:24 by ef Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went out to a "Soul Food" restaurant for dinner last night. My waiter was African-American and put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now..........Wait, oh sorry, that's not my waiter
←Rate | 12-29-2013 20:47 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I still haven't been able to deal with the fact that Jessica Simpson has had two children and didn't name either one "Homer"
←Rate | 12-29-2013 04:36 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Breaking News!!! It is okay to "NOT" get in a debate on a Facebook status if you really have no idea what you are talking about. You can just move on to a cat picture or something you understand and comment on that..
←Rate | 12-28-2013 11:01 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm working on my 2014 New Year's Resolutions List 1. On January 1st, "Express order" workout equipment. 2. January 2nd workout with new equipment 3. January 3rd "Place Ad to sell workout equipment at 1/2 price"
←Rate | 12-26-2013 22:28 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know about you but I'm that guy who will strike up a conversation with you while waiting in a long line.Tell a joke to all the people standing there to change their day and mine also. I enjoy people..... and life is too short!
←Rate | 12-26-2013 19:51 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is NO MORE GAME REQUESTS!!! Thank you!!
←Rate | 12-25-2013 06:19 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa....I've been good for the last hour
←Rate | 12-24-2013 22:24 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment" Kathy.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 06:52 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just turned the MNF game off...The NFL has turned into the VFL(Vagina Football League)...you can't even tackle anymore!
←Rate | 12-23-2013 21:33 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon When is Dennis Rodman going to realize that he will be executed as soon as the North Korean basketball team he is training loses their first game???
←Rate | 12-23-2013 13:43 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you noticed that it's only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
←Rate | 12-23-2013 12:16 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beer.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 12:01 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon One thing awesome about my childhood was being able to play with a 'toy' gun without the authorities getting involved.
←Rate | 12-21-2013 12:01 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someone's front porch.
←Rate | 12-21-2013 00:13 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon A&E has just announced the replacement show for Duck Dynasty the new show will be Dyke Dynasty.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 20:39 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have this great midnight snack it's called, what do I think my roommate won't notice if I eat the edges off of
←Rate | 12-20-2013 09:48 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Scariest Horror Movies of All Time 1. The Exorcist 2. Psycho 3. The View on ABC
←Rate | 12-19-2013 21:13 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Dr. who had examined my wife when she was rushed to the Emergency Room, pulled me aside and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' I said 'Me neither doc,' ......'But she's a great cook and good with the kids.'
←Rate | 12-19-2013 12:42 by EF Comments (0)  


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