Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Marys dragging me to some play tonight #bored #killme
←Rate | 01-29-2015 08:30 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny how when I see someone from High School I suddenly hve a great job and am trying to stick a key in a car I in the parking lot that I could never afford!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 21:42 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mars Rover reports there are only 167 Starbucks on Mars!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 17:28 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I married my wife for her looks........just not the ones she's been giving me lately!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 13:11 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many divorced men does it atke to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 12:20 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:16 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 10:15 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Olympian's earn their medals every 4yrs........In Afghanistan our servicemen earn their medals every day!!!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 09:26 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked into the Dentist's office and he asked me what the problem was and I said ''Doc, I think I'm a Giant Moth!'' He said ''You need a Psychiatrist not a Dentist, why did you come in here?'' I told him ''The light was on!!!''
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a Sword!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:53 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't spoken to my wife in 3days because she hates when I interupt her!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 08:52 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a list of people who asked for your opinion.................
←Rate | 08-07-2012 00:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I didn't have internet I'd be asleep 4hrs earlier every night!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 00:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person that started hiccuping must have been scared to death!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 00:56 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't want a Sarcastic answer don't ask a Stupid Question!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 00:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when you were younger that old guy at the pool that swam laps and yelled at all the kids to get off the ropes!!!
←Rate | 08-04-2012 01:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought a television! It's amazing the price difference between a 47 inch T.V. and a 50 inch T.V. is a couple hundred dollars! In real life for an extra 3 inches I would pay thousands!!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 17:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying ''Oh Yeah, I remember!'' when you have no idea what their talking about!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 00:56 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been Nominted for Facebooks New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2012!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 00:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went for a jog tonight and saw a payphone and I was like ''WTF is that!!!''
←Rate | 08-03-2012 00:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


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