@Jimboleem Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I get fewer Valentines than Christmas cards. ....I got one Christmas card
←Rate | 02-13-2011 17:28 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon 127 Hours would have been better if immediately after he cut off his arm the rock shifted and landed on his foot.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 13:02 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon 127 Hours would have been better if immediately after he cut off his arm the rock shifted and landed on his foot.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 12:22 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain
←Rate | 01-06-2011 13:18 by @Jimboleem Comments (2)  

   messageicon I don't need to watch "Desperate Housewives". I have Face book !
←Rate | 01-04-2011 14:35 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Went to the doctors today, he said ive got John McEnroe syndrome... I said..YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS !!!
←Rate | 01-02-2011 20:50 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I look like I'm being bashful chances are I'm just trying to cover my nose, because when you talk I can smell your teeth dying.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 18:58 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every time I feel like a complete disaster, I take solace in how much worse off I'd be if I had to manage a vagina.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 23:45 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon They're making everything bigger these days. This bus is at least twice as big as the one I rode as a kid.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 22:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon What does it mean when a girl calls you 2 or 3 times every single day? I mean aside from the fact that she works for MasterCard™.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 12:43 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just read that California leads the nation in depression cases and adultery. ....What a sad state of affairs.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 12:36 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guess who has The Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?...... You. *snap snap*
←Rate | 12-12-2010 20:49 by @Jimboleem Comments (1)  

   messageicon Worst sex I ever had? With a girl that punched me in the face every time she climaxed.Wasn't that that bad until I realized she was faking.
←Rate | 12-12-2010 17:08 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon So if the Mayans are right, does that mean this is the last Christmas to be visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future?
←Rate | 12-12-2010 11:43 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon So much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist
←Rate | 12-11-2010 17:23 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Eh....I'll wait for the next one." - Procrastinating Lifeguard
←Rate | 12-11-2010 17:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon The thing guys want most for Christmas: A portrait of themselves in a karate outfit, leaning against a sweet Trans Am.
←Rate | 12-11-2010 13:32 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 23:21 by @Jimboleem Comments (2)  

   messageicon I learned two valuable lessons today: 1. 2. Write down valuable lessons before you smoke weed.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 21:33 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate sharing a name with someone famous. I'm always telling people, "No, no! I'm not THAT Batman!"
←Rate | 12-10-2010 19:55 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


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