melb Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon TODAY IS THE DAY HELL FROZE OVER....I got to work at 815am...enjoy the cool breeze!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 12:20 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon IT WAS Professor Plum in the library with the candlestick...NOW EVERYONE GET OVER IT!
←Rate | 07-05-2011 17:18 by MELB Comments (1)  


   messageicon I need a stunt double because I am so damn tired of jumping through hoops!
←Rate | 07-21-2011 17:41 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon something about a "BOEhner reBUTTal" just doesn't sound right.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 19:50 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon "GET YOUR ASS IN LINE"...~House Speaker John BOEhner's statement to fellow Republicans....I suspect a flurry of worker's comp claims.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 22:14 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blonde goes to the doctor very upset..."i have these dark circles under my eyes n no matter how much sleep I get they wont go away"....."maam, those r ur nostrils" @_@
←Rate | 08-22-2011 18:59 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got my heart broken recently...makes me wanna crack their skull....afterall fair is fair....right?
←Rate | 09-10-2011 02:35 by MelB Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK, so there's a news report of a very large satellite hitting the earth tomorrow...but of course, we have no clue where...NOW, In my opinion, it isn't rocket science to just place a SH*TLOAD of magnets in the middle of the desert....right?....JUST SAYING
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:01 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeens, 4 friend requests, 3 I ignore, 2 annoying pokes and ME in need of happy hour!
←Rate | 12-12-2011 20:27 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 relatives I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny updates, 9 "in relationship to single, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites
←Rate | 12-12-2011 20:30 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon DO NOT tickle me, Elmo!
←Rate | 11-13-2012 08:42 by melb Comments (0)  


   messageicon IT'S NOT EASY BEING A DIVA!!! It's a real workout...my heart starts pumping and I break a sweat thinking of the day I have of cleaning...and then suddenly remembering my housekeeper already did it for me. I nearly threw my back out getting back in bed!
←Rate | 12-03-2012 09:43 by MelB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop blaming the holidays....you were fat in August!
←Rate | 01-04-2015 21:41 by melb Comments (0)  



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